From Head Case to Finding My Pace in the Water

My Why: I was a VERY nervous swimmer and I still have my moments.  I always say that I race on land, but my goal is to become more competitive in the water and let it become more than just about surviving the first leg. I believed I was the only person who had irrational fears, along with some rational ones, and I was self-conscious that I couldn’t get out of my own way.  It took consistency and practice to build confidence and learn to love the water like I used to as a child. 

My Goal: I want you to find that comfort level too!  Know that if you struggle with the fear of the unknown in the water, or you believe the swim is your limiting factor on race day, you are not alone.  But it doesn’t have to be that way.  I want us all to become the best version of ourselves on land and in the water.  I hope my stories help!

The scariest leg of all

Swimming can feel overwhelming and scary, especially if it’s been years since you swam as a child or you are just learning.  As adults – if you’re like me – we start to think of all the things that can go wrong.  We struggle to find our way through the water and waste a ton of energy thrashing through instead of streamlining our stroke.

However, if you embrace the process of improving your swim, it can become one of the most rewarding parts of your triathlon journey.  I went from being a self-proclaimed head case in the water to now feeling a sense of accomplishment with how my stroke and times have improved.  The open water may still give me feelings of unease when I cannot see what’s in front of me, but trust me, spending time in the water will create more space for joy and less space for fear.  

How it started

In 2007, my sister Deanna and I decided to register for a triathlon with Team In Training.  I received a mailer from the organization sharing the opportunity to train for a triathlon while raising money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. I was instantly intrigued.  I raced throughout high school as a runner and continued with road raced, but triathlon presented something completely new and a little scary.  Naturally my sister said yes to my request to take part with me and we began our training and fundraising.

We made a lot of memories training for that race – ultimately making it to the starting line and through the finish line at the Franklin Lakes Triathlon.  

We were not racing for time.  To spectators, we may have looked absolutely ridiculous along the way but had the best time.  We meandered through transition without a single thought on time, doing a full wardrobe change for the bike and the run.  I carried a camera on the run to capture the experience with a disposable camera that would get developed at a CVS.  Despite many memories along the way, the swim was engrained in my brain.

My sister had a friend who owned a surf shop and he donated wetsuits to us for the race. Looking back, these were definitely not like the wetsuits I’m racing in today.  I’m pretty the wetsuits we raced in were meant for surfing, but they served their purpose.  Mine was black with a lot of orange.  During the race, the only thought I remember thinking was that I looked like a buoy. Nobody would know notice me drowning.  We were back floating and doggy paddling our way around the half-mile course, laughing and telling each other we were gonna die.  We finally passed the last buoy, and I could not get myself out of the water fast enough.  

That was my first and last impression of what it was like to swim in open water. I won’t count days at the beach jumping waves. The experience was a painful, scary, (perceived) life-threatening experience to me. I convinced myself I was a terrible swimmer. I assumed this was the part of the triathlon you just try to survive.

How it’s going

In 2017, I decided to give another go at the world of multisport. However, the memory of my experience ten years prior affected my decision to jump into the waters of triathlon.  I raced duathlon for one year and realized the real excitement was on the other side of my fear.  

In November 2018, I signed up at my local pool and started swimming again.  I dove in without any plan or expectations and had to stop every 25 yards on my first day.  A sense of panic would overcome me as I pushed off the wall to start a lap. I wondered what I would do if I just freaked out midway through.  

I worked my way up to 50’s and 100’s, adding in some drills with a pull buoy and kickboard.  This was paired with a lot of time watching YouTube videos, googling drills, and navigating as best I could to find ways to perform better in the water.

My first triathlon was the 2019 Lava Rocks Sprint Triathlon. It was a quarter-mile bay swim that was perfect for beginners like me.  I finished that race third place overall, and my confidence in triathlon instantly set on fire – or at least a burning ember.  

My second triathlon that year was the Vincentown Sprint Triathlon.  The swim was in a small lake that seemed less intimidating than the open waters of the ocean.  You may have heard the saying, never try anything new on race day! Just don’t do it.  

Going into this race, I had never swam in open water without my wetsuit.  As everyone was getting ready to start, it looked like NOBODY was wearing a wetsuit.  I panicked and ran back to transition to take off my wetsuit. But when I returned most people were in fact wearing their wetsuits. All I thought to myself was, what an idiot! I don’t know what I was thinking that day. I had a minor panic attack in the water – it was only a quarter-mile swim – but I was back-floating for part of it trying to compose myself.  It didn’t help, and I again felt like I could not get myself out of the water fast enough.  

Somehow I still managed to finish first in my age group that day.  But the experience splashed some water on the fire that was starting to burn.  Regardless, I was determined to get my shit together, practice more in the open water and calm my nerves. 

My third race that year was the Belmar Sprint Triathlon in the ocean. The waters were extremely rough and the night prior my nephew asked me to not go in the water.  What a way to freak me out!  Part of me was hoping the swim would be canceled, but the show went on.  Once again, I was just hoping to survive the swim and get out of the water as quickly as I could.  Also once again, I managed to finish first in my age group.  Even though my confidence in the water was not on the up and up, I knew I wanted to, and I could get better.

My final race that year was the Hightstown Sprint Triathlon and it was on my home turf.  It was in the lake I was training at, the roads that I logged many miles on, and I was ready.  By this time I also had a season of open water swimming under my belt.  I won that race overall, and after one year of racing sprints, I was hooked and ready to take on the Olympic distance.    

Fast forward to 2023 and I feel like I officially had a breakthrough in my swimming.  I hooked up with my local triathlon club and swam open water 1-2 times per week, starting in early May.  I signed up for a 1.6 mile open water swim race, and registered for the Atlantic City Ironman 70.3.  While I’d like to see my pool times translate a little better in 2024, the calm I felt in the water – with or without a wetsuit – is nothing short of night and day to where it started.

I share these experiences because it’s not always comfortable, it’s often humbling, you win some, you lose some, but you always keep moving forward.  The majority of the people whom you speak with on race morning have tons of nerves about the swim.  But you can’t go under, you can’t go over, you have to go through it.  

Here are my 10 tips to help you go from drowning in fear to navigating the waters of the triathlon swim.   

1. Hire a coach!  If you are new to swimming or it’s been many years since you’ve entered the water, enroll in swim lessons to dial in your form so that you move through the water with less effort and build confidence.  A few small changes can pay dividends on your performance.
2. Have a plan!  While your first few sessions in the pool may be getting yourself acquainted with the environment, you do want to have structure to your swim sessions.  If you simply jump in and just swim laps for the sake of logging laps, you are selling yourself short on what you can get out of your time in the water.
3. Gradually increase your distance to build your endurance.  Depending on the triathlon distance of choice, you will want to hit certain distances in training, and also incorporate some speed work.
4. Join a masters swim team or your local triathlon club.  Camaraderie is a beautiful thing in the triathlon community. Take advantage of it!  Having familiar friendly faces at races can make all the difference in how you feel on race morning.  
5. Get in as much open water swim time as you can.
6. Practice your breathing and stay calm.  This will allow you to become more efficient in the water and potentially reduce the chance of panic.
7. Incorporate drills to help you work on technique, but don’t spend all your time there.  Drills can be great as a warmup, a way to break up sets, or as part of your cooldown.  But they should not be the entire swim session. 
8. Add in strength training and mobility work that compliments what you do in the water.
9. Have a song in your head.  This advice was given to me before one of my Olympic triathlons. A fellow athlete said she sings 100 bottles of beer on the wall as she settles into her race pace.  I now use this technique often.  If my mind is going to a bad place, I distract myself with music.  Choose a song that distracts you or puts you at ease.
10. Set realistic goals, consistently work towards achieving them, visualize yourself achieving them, and celebrate the wins!

BONUS TIP!

Read or listen to the book “The Brave Athlete: Calm the F*ck Down” by Simon Marshall PhD and Lesley Paterson.  One of my friends in the triathlon community suggested this book to me and I cannot thank him enough!  First off, they are hysterical to listen to – I love their accents, the cursing, and the brutal honesty.  And it absolutely puts into perspective how ridiculous we can be with our thoughts.  I often catch my chimp brain coming out full force when I’m shoved in the water, but am thankful for the awareness that it’s time to let my professor brain jump in…read the book and you’ll understand.

Now go jump in and make 2024 your best year yet as a triathlete!